I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
