You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
