can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
