You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
