My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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