So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
