We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
