I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
