hotel room ftw
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
