Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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