If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
