I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
