this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
