some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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