Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
