i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
