i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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