Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
