And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
