Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
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