i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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