Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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