I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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