u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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