my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
