Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
