i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
