It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
