sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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