do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
