But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
