dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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