32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
