I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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