I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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