My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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