nut hugger
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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