is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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