all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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