So drunk its hurt
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
