So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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