Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
