I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
