ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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