Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
