Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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