She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
