The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
