Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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