My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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