The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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