Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
