wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
